I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He called his prostate his "boner button".
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize