whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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