I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
