I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
