fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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