at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
