we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Semen is not good for contacts.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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