found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
