hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
