New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
