She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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