TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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