Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize