I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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