I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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