you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
