I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
