i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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