Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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