I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
