I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
