either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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