Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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