Your tits are I can't wait for
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
