the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
