You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
