i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
then he tried to convert me to islam
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
