i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
