"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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