maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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