When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
