Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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