Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
