she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
