thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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