3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
