Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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