I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
