i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
