Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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