I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
