11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
