Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
