lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i came on her dog
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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