She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
