I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
