Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
