i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize