For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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