Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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