Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
