Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
