I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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