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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home." 

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• (718): View more from New York

  The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.

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• (432): View more from Texas

  the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel

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• (949): View more from California

  the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?

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• (716): View more from New York

  My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.

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