I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
