"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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